Its all about Flo…

So, you know a little about Flo and where she comes from. We don’t really know much about her past, except that she was found by Retired Working Dog Society. All we really know is that she came to them in a really bad way. After working with her for 7 months, she was allowed to be rehomed. And her new life started with us.

• 

• 

Flo is much like Scooby Doo at times, she is just as dumb as he is too. But there are times when she shows potential. She is also a bit of a kleptomaniac. Anything from shoes, but only one of the pair, to the cats scratching pole. Yip.. one evening, while we were watching tv, she quietly strolls past us with the cats scratching pole hanging out of her mouth. Like this was a normal thing to do..Nothing to see here folks, I’m just walking past! She also seem to be a little OCD because she puts the shoes and all other items she had taken, in a straight line on the lawn. Like she was at a country market, ready to sell her wares. Anyway….

She had sort of been trained to be a yard dog. That means big bark and jumping around like a duracell bunny who had drunk 12 cans of Red Bull, to get the sheep into the race or yard. Her energy is astounding. She is also supposed to be able to respond to a whistle, but at times her focus is so on the sheep that she is oblivious to the whistle. Oh.. we had to buy the whistle cos neither T or I could do the Whoop whop whistle she was supposed obey.

Well last week T was away. But being along on the farm is never a problem. There comes days where you are really busy and in bed by 8pm because you are knackered and there are days that just go so smoothly! This was NOT one of those days.

First of all.. I had Dave the shearer coming to shear our lambs. They were getting a little woolly and with the heat, they could get maggots. They also needed to be drenched. Dave could only do it this week as he was going away for a couple of weeks, so I had to get them sorted. So, I took the kids and we went for a slow walk through the fields, moving the lambs into the centre field where all I needed to do was push them up the main run and into the yards. This works well when you have 2 people and a dog.. but I had 1 person and 5 dogs. The only dog that could help me, decided to sit on the deck and watch. No doubt Ned was rolling over in laughter watching us trying to bring the lambs in. Me trying to get Jess behind the sheep while keeping Scooby next to me, as I know she will just scatter them, and shouting at Maggie and Ollie to stop eating the sheep shit. its was a bloody night mare. Eventually I decided to take all the dogs home and come back just with Jess. Maybe if things were a little quieter, it may just work. As I’m walking home, I see Dave heading towards me… Thanks God!!! a 2nd set of hands and at least someone who know how to bring lambs in.

Now I know Flo will not just sit quietly on the deck and watch us bring in sheep.. hell no!! this is what she has trained for all her life and she was determined to help! Fortunately, we had built a large 4 sqm dog run and that was going to be her home for the next 3 hours.

I breath a sigh of relief and head back to Dave to help bring the lambs up the run. We almost had the lambs through the gate, when all we see is the bouncing dog come running down, barking and telling us, she is here to help. WTF!!!!! how the bloody hell did she get out. So all the lambs turn on their hooves and start running back into the field. OMG… we had to start all over again. My language was a rainbow of colour as I tried to call her back in.

10 min later I finally get here back into the house gates, I take her back to the dog run and wonder how the hell she got out! The door was till closed and the run still standing. Did she jump over the top – 2m… I could see it happening. So… then I got an idea. I put backing the run and walk away. Needless to say, she went ballistic. I stopped, turned to her and said, Okay.. come girls, lets go. And Low and behold, she runs to a piece of the fencing that had not been secured down and ssssssqqqqqqquuuuuueeezzzzes her self through this 10cm gap! Now I was the cartoon charactor as my bottom jaw just dropped to the grown. The best part was, she was really impressed with herself that a) she got out again and b) she showed me how clever she is! Or was she…I shot inside, got some wire and tied the fencing down. Put her back inside and walked away. And deja vu… she went ballistic. I stopped, turned to her and told her to come. But oh dear… her escape route was no more. Then she got mad! She bounced around the enclosure and scratched at every corner to try get out. I smiled quietly, but inside was euphoria! If I had a bottle of champagne, I would have popped the cork there and then, taken swigs out the bottle and skipped all the way back down to Dave, but.. I didn’t! By this time Dave had once again collected the lambs and was walking them up the run, with a little help from Jess. I joined the back of the flock and chest out, I marched along side Dave with a smile on my face. But that is where the smiling stopped. For the next 4 hours, drenching the lambs and then drafting them because some needed shearing and some didn’t. Dave started shearing, so it was left to me to ensure he was not held up and that there was alway a lamb in tow to shear.

24 degrees and glowing like a sow (female pig), I get a call from our stock agent to tell me they will be delivering our 11 new pedigree South Suffolk ewe lambs. AAAHhhhh… I need this like a hole in the head.. but wait.. we bought 12 – where is the other one. MMM.. say our agent. Not sure, they picked up 12 but only delivered 11. That was not what I wanted to hear, now I was the one that went ballistic. Then I found out that they delivered them to the market instead of bringing them start to us. I know now why they did this..I would have been up for murder if that truckie had delivered a girl that died en route. This matter is not closed, but I had to get the new girls off the truck and on to grass and then back to Dave to keep the shearing going.

An hour later, I shoot home to go to the loo, only to find a white ute outside the gate. Mmmm.. who is this. It was Hayden, the Bee man. OMG, I forgot that he was coming to mark out where the 35 hives where going to be housed. I apologies sincerely as I ran past him and headed straight for the toilet, as this was not going to hold for very much longer. I have no doubt, he thought I was one tit short of an udder. But once I had relieved and composed myself, I went out to meet him. A lovely man and very understanding as I told him, to head to the first field, find the reeds and put his white stick there. That was the most sheltered, first sunny spot and well protected spot for the bees. He obviously noticed my haste and very kindly said, I’ve got it, you carry on. Back to Dave to finish the shearing.

By 4pm, we were done! I was F#&$ to say the least but I told Dave go and that I cleaned up. 3 huge bags of wool, bagged and closed. I headed home and let poor Flo out. She was not impressed with me. But hey, when aren’t kids pissed off with their parent for putting them on the naughty step!?

As I’m sitting in the kitchen, I see Flo running down the run to the fields where the lambs are. But how did she get out… all the gates are closed.. I know they are cos I bloody closed them. I shout at her to “get in” and all of a sudden she runs behind the water tank and voila.. she is back in the house grounds. So I take a walk to the tanks but I can’t see where she is getting out. There is no way she can get under the fencing or over it, there was 3 pieces of fence wire of the gate not attached to the bottom pole, I’m really boggled at this one. But I’m tried and desperately need a shower. I call all the kids in give them a treat and head for the shower. Enjoying my 5 minutes of peace, out the corner of my eye I see my towel going out the bathroom door! Mmmmm… my only words were “DROP IT” and it stopped moving. I get out the shower to find Flo sitting there like nothing was wrong. OMG.. was I not going to get any peace! I pick up the towel and head back to the shower. Once I was all nice and clean.. I step out the shower to see Flo again running down the main run to the field, through the bathroom window. WTF… I jammed my feet into my fluffy slippers and stark bollock naked I run outside, all the way to the water tanks (as I’m running I’m visualising a Baywatch Babe in motion, yet in reality, its more of a buffalo stampeed to the water hole) but I digress…I had to see where this Houdini is getting out. I stood there, in all my glory and fluffy slipper, hair plastered to my head and call her in and once again, she does not fail to impress as she crawls through those 3 pieces of fencing wire that weren’t hooked to the bottom of the gate. OMG… reallyy!!!!! Once she was in, I looked around to find something to close up the hole till tomorrow, where I could deal with it properly. I find a piece of wood and a step ladder. McGyver was back at work. I jammed the piece of wood through the gap and while I’m going this, I became fully aware that I was still totally naked only wearing slippers. Bent over, I looked back and asked the veggie to not keel over at the sight they are forced to witness, but this had to be done! I balanced the ladder against the gate and quickly headed back to house, hoping I would not have any unexpected visitors! Not needing the towel that Flo had dragged out, I slipped into a pair of trackie pants and t-shirt, poured myself a large Vodka and DIET tonic with a slice of lemon, counted the kids to ensure they were all indoors and took a huge swig of my drink! AND that was the best part of my day!