So far I have not named any of our stock. I think I’m getting the hang of the farming malarky.👍 The next step was to get our ewes pregnant. So in February we bought a couple of rather strong boys! Yip, they were going to cover 110 ewes over the next couple of months and 4 months later we would hopefully have a field full of beautiful little lambs. We let the the boys roam the hills for a couple of days to get used to the farm and then it would be off to work!

The next task on the list was to drench the ewes. So T and I decided we are going to bring the girls in, I mean how hard could it be! Well…we failed! Thanks god no one was filming us. We would have taken “the dumbest bunch of farmers on the planet” award! After 3 hours of trying to get these bloody sheep in, we had to admit defeat! The worst part of this entire episode, was that the sheep were all in 1 paddock. We just needed to get them through the bloody gate and into the yard! It was not like we were bring them in from the hills! But you could actually see this little shites looking at us, as they stood in a tight group, plotting their next move. They had us on the run for 2 hours now and they were no finished with us yet!

With Dot being head honcho ewe, she told Ethel to head left, taking a pack of 50 girls with her and then told Doris to head right, taking 30 girls with her and she would head straight down the middle towards us with the rest. OMG.. in seconds they scattered – it was like a Black Friday sale! sheep bloody everywhere! T and I didn’t have a hope in hell of getting these girls in on our own. What we needed was a sheep dog, or as they call them here, a heading or eye dog.

So we went and first found Jess. A 6wk old Huntaway pup that supposedly came from very good stock. But being a pup, the only thing Jess knew how to do was chew my shoes and play with Maggie, so she was not going to be any good with the handling of the stock. We then decided to find a retired working dog. I was at the vet with Maggie when I read a post on their notice board about a retired 9yr bitch looking for a home. I was onto T right away and the following day, we went to fetch Ned. How she got the name is beyond me, but hey! We tried to change it but in the end, she was Ned and that was that! A trained heading dog from a large working farm…. all our worries sorted. Or so we thought!

The following day, we headed out to the sheep again but this time we had increased our arsenal by calling Ned in. Yip.. Ned the “experienced” heading dog was a tad confused by my commands and I don’t blame her. I was pretty shite at telling her to fetch the sheep! She just stood there with a blank look on her face. I guess my accent didn’t really help either. Being with one Kiwi farmer all her life, I have no doubt, coming over to us seem like start French Lessons at the age of 63 – it aint gonna be easy! Then Terry came down with Jess who just bounces all over the place (Jess not Terry). Jess saw the sheep and was very enthusiastic! So enthusiastic, that she managed to get out of her collar and had a field day chasing the sheep around. What a mare!! But once T got her back under control and Ned sort of figuring out what she had to do, they finally got the sheep into a corner & we moved them into the yard. Then the fight started. Human vs sheep! Having never drenched sheep before, I was all finger and thumbs. 2 hours later we won…we were done! 110 sheep drenched in the rain and now happily grazing on the hill await the Rams the next day! We ended up drink a couple of bottles of well deserved wine. The following morning…OMG… I was sooooo stiff and sore..could barely walk. This farming malarkey was going to be hard work! 😊🍷😌

When we first came to view the farm in June 2016, we were just blown away by the view. To be honest, I don’t think we even saw the house on the first viewing. T, said if he found a farm with a hill and river he would buy it! Guess what… we have a hill and a river and a breath taking view of the mountains

We were home and we both knew it! The farmhouse was nothing to be desired, we new we had to do a little work to it, as the previous owners version of an indoor garden and mother natures insulation, was not quite what we envisaged!

But a farm is not a farm unless you have farm vehicles, right!? My city slicker BMW x5 was now being packed away and my new vehicles were ready to go! Light on petrol and no WOF or MOT required this was a lot more fun and all the kids could tag along . Our other vehicle..who needs an expensive streamlined convertible when one can have a vehicle with natural air conditioning, a front loader as bull bars and tires that would make speed bump feel like a pebble! I was in my element!

We were still not quite a farm, because we didn’t have any stock! So we bought 25 baby cow, which I soon learn were called Heifers (I told you I knew bugger all about farming) and 111 ewes. Voila… we now had the makings of a farm! What soon become a wee problem, was that I had to remember that this was a farm and not zoo. Giving all the new additions to the family a name, would be detrimental to our bank account as they would never be sold! So… I refrained! Well.. tried!

No matter what anyone says…. life really only begins when it smacks you on the side of the head and says “ hey…you have only just begun to live! “ The fact you have reached that milestone of half a century, is besides the point! Anyway, today’s 50 is the new 40 so sod what anyone says about age, it’s only a number!

Why am I writing this blog? Never in a million years, did I or anyone who knows me, every think, that ” I ” a highlife city girl, who’s best drink is veuve clicquot, fine dining, 5 star hotel and travelling nothing lower than business class, would ever become a farmer! Yes…you read right a farmer! But when you marry the right man and life gets too stressful, shopping malls too busy and life just is too commercial to deal with, there is nothing like a walking in the field, often ankle deep in sheep and cow shit, looking at a view to die for and thinking to yourself ” now this is what life should be about. I can actually breath again!”

My past in a few paragraphs…

0-20.. not much happened here, had an awesome childhood, played hopscotch, jumped high ropes, ran the 100m at school sports day, won the 100m at school sports days. Ahh.. my sports teacher asked me one day if I would think about doing cross country. I was alway up for trying anything and so I did the course. He was there to meet me at the finishing line and his first words were.. its a marathon not a sprint! Wondered why I was running alone. Mmm… not my kind of run!

Dancing was my life.. tap, modern, ballroom, latin American, a bit of disco (Grease was big at the time, so was Saturday night fever and Staying alive) – but I never did ballet. Well… I auditioned when I was 9’ish. The only dance category where a child has to audition to join the class… really!!! anyway.. apparently I was NOT a ballerina, too much of a tomboy! Who wants to walk on their tippy toes and wear a stupid piece of starched netting around your hips that is wwwaaayyy to bloody small to cover anything anyway, why bother! I preferred real dancing and didn’t do too badly in them over the 20 years I danced.

My 20’s – 30’s always thought I’d have my own dancing school one day, but woke up on a trading desk in a bank! Who knew! Falling into the financial world was a pure fluke … at 18, I started as a typist in a typing pool and before I knew it, I got board with that and at 19 decided I wanted to be trader. The thought of using the word “millions” in every day life, just seemed to floated my boat! Little did I know how much fun it was going to be! Till today, I still don’t know what happened but the years just flew by. I bought my first house at 25, my first brand new BMW at 24 and experience “Wall street” first hand.

30’s- 40’s..At 30, I moved to the UK as my job put me on an aeroplane and I never returned to my hometown. London stole my heart! I truly believe, one should never judge until you have experienced what someone has done or gone through. Once you have done that… stand on your little soap box and preach what you will! BUT… until then..zip it! London is a place you can do and experience everything and anything! I was young, free and had money! I worked hard and played hard. Little sleep but lots of champagne 🍾. My career was not based on what you knew as much as who you knew. The London financial market was not for sissies and even more so, not for woman. It was a boys club (well, back then it was and doubt anything has changed in 19 year ) and woman were not welcome, unless you were blonde, blue eyed, tight mini skirt and big boobs! I was blonde..full stop! I most certainly didn’t fit the profile. But 17yrs in the market built character and the ability to stand my ground, which meant working 10 x harder than any man. You either fitted in or you f#@%ed off .. quiet simple! Of course, with that lifestyle, came some very deep lows. Burnt out and sleeping under my desk because going home at 2am after a night out wining and dining clients was not worth it, when your market opens at 5am. Volatile markets and people wanting to see you fall and fail, after 7 years, it would eventually takes it toll!

I left the market at 35, when some 23yr old twat, told me my clients book wasn’t geared properly!! WTF…5 min on the desk and a Cambridge degree of some sort and you are telling me a book is not geared properly! Mmmm… well then mate… you fix it! That’s when I knew, my time was up! As a broker my game was 80% gut feel 20% knowledge & strategy banker, it’s the other way around and one day Mr “Cambridge degree of some sort, think you know it all” you will figure that out! And I called it quits!

What next…I spent a month playing golf then had to find a job! Didn’t want to go back to the financial world, but that was all I really knew. Then… the global crash.. fek!!! Trying to sell my property was a mare. Couldn’t get a real estate agent anywhere ( which is odd, cos you can usually get rid of them). I lost huge but that’s when it hit me .. I’m a trading, I negotiate, that who I am, so how difficult would be to do the same thing but on a smaller scale. All that really changed is your underlying asset! So stepped into the world of real estate in London and there I stayed for 6 years.

One morning I woke up and thought.. fek…I’m 40, no kids, no husband, no family in the UK and no longer in a high pressured job! I’m not getting any younger and finding a man down the pub was not going to happen. How come I never met anyone from the market, I hear you ask.. I knew what the men were really like and it was not what I wanted. By 40, I was beginning to think, maybe I shouldn’t have been so picky. I also didn’t really want the crap of a divorce! But I never thought I wouldn’t have kids! So I decided to pack up my life in London and move to be with my family in New Zealand. They all packed up their lives around 2001 and started a new life in the land of the long white cloud!

I thought… hey, I could have IVF, who needs a man! Loads of woman are adopting and going solo, why can I and IVF is free till you are 40!? I CANT BECAUSE I LEFT IT TOO FEKKING LATE! Yip.. I turned 40 in the April but landed in NZ in the June.. 2 months too late! WTF!!! Really…😱

In short.. my first 4 years here where the hardest I’ve ever had. Those male chauvinist in the market were child’s play in comparison to what I was dealing with here! Caught between a rock and a hard place, not only would it cost me $30k to have a kid, it also cost me $25K to get my temporary residency! Yip, some advice is not alway the best advice and I hired an expensive lawyer to do my immigration papers for me. Something I could have done myself for less then $2k. With that, I couldn’t get a job because I needed a working visa BUT I couldn’t get a visa till I had a job offer! go figure!! Who is going to hold a job open for 3 months while you get your visa… NO BLOODY one!!

At 41 a good friend said that her company needed someone just to load invoices into their system. But they couldn’t pay me as I didn’t have a visa. It was better than sitting at home wondering why I left London, every minute of the day. I couldn’t go back.. the UK was still in turmoil and going back may not be the right decision. Hey, I’d made so many bad decisions lately, maybe I should just take a breath and try start again!

After 6 months of inputing invoices for free and using my life savings to live in NZ, the company took me on full time, letting me volunteer while my visa came through and at near minimum wage, these guys were getting a bargain! But, they gave me a job and the people were good! A bunch girls with a lot of laughs. Just what I needed! 👍 The champagne changed to relatively good wine, restaurant dining changed to take outs and microwave dinners and 3 piece tailor made suits were pulled out for funerals as they were exchanged for jeans and t-shirts.

So, 6 months on, I have no baby, no man and labeled, billy no mates… but I have my working visa and a job. Though the thought of heading back to London, played on my mind daily!

One day I get a call from my cousin, saying I have to come their pub quiz night. I needed that like a hole in the head, but she insisted and I went along. I walk in the pub, I see my cousin and waltz on over. The next minute this guy from our group says… I know you! we worked together on the trading floor back in 1988 – Bloody hell, I couldn’t remember him for love or money! The entire evening I racked my brain as to who this guy was… Then the penny dropped as to who he was! To make even a longer story shorter, We met in September, got engaged the following April and married the April after that! Hoorayyyyyyy, at 47, I leapt of the Spinster shelf and settled down with a man truly worth waiting for. Family came from far and wide to witness this phenomenon!

Our new life together was wonderful, but city life and the business was bothering the both of us. Were we having a mid life crisis.. hell no.. as we had both come from the financial world, T (my wonderful husband) had 20 years as portfolio manager at a large insurance company and an emerging markets broker at London bank, we both lived high flying lives, both travelled a lot through work, making money is what we did! It was time to take a step back, take a breath and start to actually work to live and not live to work! A year later we sold up the house, downsized his business, packed the kids (our adopted German Shepherds Ax and Keira and my baby Daxie Maggie) into the car and headed for our new home in the country… Yes… we decided to leave the Auckland bridge with all it traffic behind and started a new life in the beautiful Wairarapa, farming! And here is were my blog begins…. my entire life I was a city girl, champagne, fine dining, designer handbags and shoes, antiques and fabulous cars… I was giving all that up for a set of gumboot/wellies, farming overalls, sheep shit and a tractor! I know fek all about farming… but then I knew fek all about the financial markets and look how that turned out!

The start of our new adventure!

Everything including the kitchen sink

Help!! she is driving